FOMO: anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media.
So we all know what FOMO is right?
The Fear Of Missing Out, when you miss a party or a concert or an event or anything at all and you are scared that the fun is being enjoyed without you. Trust me we’ve all been there but recently I have found myself feeling something different entirely and I am not mad at it. At all.
Not only am I sick and tired of being at work and seeing people post about how much they are enjoying their free evenings (I present an evening show on the radio) I am sick of caring about what people are doing while I am not there. It used to genuinely affect my mood.
Enter JOMO, our new best friend. The mate we never knew we needed. This is the kind of friend who gives you a hug when you most need it.
For anyone who is new to the JOMO concept, the moooovement:
Of course I can sit here and create an entire think piece on the perils on social media and how it has all of us connected 24hrs a day, you can pick up your phone and see pretty much anyone you’ve ever met (and everyone they’ve ever met, and they’ve ever met and so forth) and exactly what they are doing, without you. But surprise surprise this post isn’t really about that, this isn’t about the machine that is social media but those of us that use it.
The jig (for me) is up. I have stopped believing in the snaps of sparklers on bottles of Grey Goose in the club, or the screams of “Ayyyyyye” accompanied by the selfie videos of you and your mates dancing up a storm. I don’t believe it. I don’t believe that going out every. Single. Night is actually fun and I also am not sure if I need to explain myself. I will try though.While 2019 is the year that I decided to put my head down and focus on working hard (which is going well by the way) it is also the year that I have decided to be present in my life, with my friends and the people who take the time to spend time with me. We have implemented the “no phones at the dinner table” rule during my family dinners and while we don’t make the first offender pick up the bill or anything it is a way to actually be in the moment. So instead of living vicariously through other people and where they are; be it Coachella with some of the influencers I follow or freaking out about the flying Lamborghini at the Drake concert with my fellow presenters (that thing DOES NOT look safe!) I am living my own life, in real-time.
Without the 24hr expiry date.
It is quite nice here, in a place where life happens as it should and the moments tick by by the second and not the countdown bar on your instagram story.I remember when I used to think of all of the things I WASN’T DOING rather than what I, Yinka was actually experiencing there and then. When I would be angry at the concerts, dinners, holidays and so on that everyone else was going on, as opposed to living my own life.
I do have to admit that my life is a little bit more exciting than it once was and the bits and bobs I get up to are a touch more exciting so I no longer feel like NEED to fill it with the things that others are doing. And the less I feel personally attacked by the things that other people are getting up to the less important what other people are doing is becoming.
When you aren’t happy with yourself it is so easy to believe that everyone has it better than you and when everyone is trying to show how “high-life-y” they are living it is so easy to feel left out.
But that comes with taking time to work on ME (or YOU) and what I am doing, when you fill your days with things that make you happy or things that contribute to the person you want to become, what others are doing suddenly feels less about you and less of a burden on how you spend your time.
The bank holiday is barely behind us and I have accepted that I am no longer able to go out and party all night and get to work in the morning ready and able to do my job, not for lack of trying but do you know what? I don’t want to do that. Instead of feeling the pang of loss when I look at peoples snaps from the night before I smile and continue with my day. Maybe that is me growing up, maybe it is my confidence continuing to grow, maybe I will be back to caring by the summer (things do look a lot more tempting in the sun) and this post would’ve been for no reason, although I doubt that.
I am not claiming to be an old lady whose idea of a wild Saturday night involves a thick cardigan and a cuppa but I am accepting growing up and am no longer lured by what other people are up to beyond a mild curiosity. It is quite nice I have to admit.
(It’s ok you can LOL at the pics of me in bed, I took the whole “staying in” thing literally)