A Happier New Year

A mini-guide to resolving this New Year
By Yinka Bokinni (lol obviously)

It is that time of year again people!

I realise that by the title of this post you may be expecting me to tell you what my resolutions for 2017 are, I mean THIS is my year right? Forget about all the others; THIS YEAR is the one that counts?!
Well sorry to disappoint you, but I stopped making New Years resolutions when one year on one random day in mid-July I decided to stop biting my nails and I did.
No fireworks, no national anthem or big hoo-haa, I just stopped. For so many years THAT was my resolution, my promise to myself. Not only is nail-biting a filthy habit but it is a nervous one too, but for some reason I couldn’t quite kick-it. Every year I would swear to myself that I would quit.. put the fingers down. And every year I would fail.
Now maybe I wasn’t ready to stop, maybe all those times before the random mid- July breakthrough were premature hopes, mere dreams, and I was finally able to stop chewing on my nails because the tie was right! That is a perfectly reasonable theory, but I have another one for you: MAYBE without the pressure of COMPLETING a New Years resolution I actually gave myself the tools to make a change.

So this post isn’t a typical ‘here is how you can change yourself’ New Years post, its more of a ‘you’re absolutely fine the way you are, but here is how you can realise it’ New Years post. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing (:


Don’t be so hard on yourself:
As my opening rant stated: you can decide to make changes on a random Tuesday in July if you feel like it, it doesn’t have to be at the beginning of the calendar year and it doesn’t make your decision any less important. I understand that it is easier to measure our success year by year but life rarely works out the way we plan. I prefer small goals either weekly or monthly which add up over the course of the year and are less daunting to tackle. Oh and write them downnn!!! (Its easier to track your progress that way.)

New you?
Really? Do you really need to completely change yourself because is TwentySeventeen? I mean you have come this far and chances are your aren’t doing too badly, you at least have data and/ or wifi to read this (lol)
But seriously, what is this obsession we all have with changing who we are? You are you for a reason and the sooner you realise that, accept it and embrace it; the sooner you will thrive in your awesome you-ness.

Keep it on the down low (just a little)
Telling people your goals isn’t always the best idea. I know, I knowww in this day and age we live through our phone screens and our days and achievements are instantly comparable to those we follow on social media BUT let me put this to you: if you are so concerned with showing people you are doing well chances are you aren’t actually putting the most effort into the actual ting. Don’t get me wrong I fall victim to this ‘wanting to reassure my followers that I am killing this game we call life’ thing, but a little less time spent worry about that and focussing on your goals can go a long way! Which brings me to my next point…

TAKE A BREAK!
From social media (definitely), from work (sometimes) and from constantly telling yourself you aren’t good enough (especially).
I think the social media thing is self explanatory but I will say this: sometimes its nice to take the world in through your actual eyes and own experiences rather than through what everyone else seems to be doing.
Your brain can’t work at its best if it doesn’t get a break, especially if you work for yourself. Being self -employed its easy to think you have to always be ‘on’ but remember if you worked a regular job you would have days off in the week so try to implement that into your schedule.


So there you have it; my guide to this years resolutions, it may not be what you expected but I hope its helped! Let me know what you think in the comments below xx

Yinka x

15 Comments Add yours

  1. Breena says:

    What a great read
    I can’t believe you used to bite your nails! You are so glamorous it’s hard to believe it.
    I especially liked your point about making changes when you want not just at this time
    Thank you
    Breena

  2. Teyana says:

    Not only is your website gorgeous!!!! You are very inspirational, please keep up the blogging. Because your posts are bette than eastenders girl!!

    Tee

  3. Lily says:

    You’re so right we do always want people to know we are doing well!! Definitely taking this into 2017

  4. Aurora says:

    Enjoyable read! Nice reminder that we are all special and don’t have to follow certain rules. Put yourself first and love yourself is what I took from this! Mid July and all 🙂

  5. Greg says:

    You put everything so simply but your logic is very deep. I love that you are obviously extremely clever but don’t isolate people with it.
    Amazing post xxxx

  6. Louise says:

    Beautifully put as always Yinks ❤️

  7. Suzie says:

    A RANDOM TUESDAY IN JULY

    YES YINKA

  8. Whitney Hallow says:

    Sent this to all of my friends, such a good message

  9. Julie says:

    She is so right, you have to take a break from staring at your screens and actually live! Great advice yinka baby

  10. Sasha says:

    Not everyone is doing as good as you, maybe some of us need to change in order to be as successful did you think of that?

    1. Yinka says:

      Spending time trying to be something you’re not just gets in the way of what you’re really meant to be doing, I don’t think I am particularly successful but I do know that I wouldn’t have got here pretending to be something I am not. I believe that if you can’t be yourself then you’re not necessarily the thing that needs to change
      Yinka x

  11. Imani says:

    Very good read

  12. Opeoluwapo says:

    This is nyc, got to check my self

  13. RhyChess says:

    I might have to take heed of that “Social media Break” Idea…I spend way too much time on it and not enough time on my music and such and I keep allowing myself to become distracted…I definitely appreciate you mentioning that… it will definitely be in my to-do list

  14. Her Digital says:

    Lovely post, completely agree with not posting your goals online, they should be for you, not your followers.

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